Josie Ell Stith

You were a cool cat.  I mean it. I’ll never forget the day I came to the County Animal Shelter seeking a cat to call my own.  I strolled around the cages looking for a Calico to grab my attention. I saw only a rather frail Calico kitten.  Not an attention grabber.

Then there you were, a large cat, coal black with a white chest and dainty white feet, posed, lying on your side, in a cage with two other big cats.  I saw your eyes follow me.  But, you didn’t make a move.  It was obvious you and your cage mates, a grey Tabby and a golden one, were old – kitten-days long gone.  While your cage mates repositioned themselves to keep my attention, it was only your bright eyes staring at me that made it clear you knew I was there.  Yet, your long, ample, unmoving body said, “I could care less about you liking me.”

I walked away. You stayed as you were.  One of your mates climbed off his/her perch, the other came as far as he/she could to angle for my interest.   I continued walking, searching for a pet connection that said, “we should be family”.

The assortment of dogs, cats, kittens, and puppies at that animal shelter was wonderful. Unfortunately, an emotional attachment just couldn’t be dredged up between any of them and me – no matter how long and thoughtfully I lingered. To the exit door I headed, resigned to leaving without a cat which I had taken so long to realize I wanted to share my home with me.

Sauntering toward the door, passing the big cats’ cage my eyes read the sign above you, the independent one who had eyes for me but apparently no interest in belonging to me.

“Joey”,  Arrival Date:  5/15

Domestic Short Hair – Black & White

Age: 8 yrs    Size:  XL

I said to myself, “Well, Joey.  You’ve been here in this animal shelter for more than  2 months and no one has picked you.  No wonder you’re not showing any interest in appealing to me.  You’ve had enough rejection, right? Let me go see what your story is.”

And that’s what I did. 

They told me she was a super-sweet, older cat, obese, really needed to lose weight to fend off the strong possibility of becoming diabetic.  Joey had been given up, brought to the shelter by the previous owner.

Hold it!  “She?”  It was then I learned Joey was a female. Her previous owners had thought otherwise when they named her.

I connected with “Joey” who was old, overweight, and beautiful and enjoyed staring at me.  She had to come home with me.  We belonged together. Joey didn’t balk when I suggested we would rename her “Josie”.   She did cry all the way home in the SUV.  I just kept softly talking to her.

So Josie became my lovable pet on July 17, 2009.  She was terrific, a truly super-sweet cat. 

As soon as we entered the house and I let her out of the travel cage, she scurried away.  Josie went throughout the house, from top to bottom, into every room.   I did see her peering at me as I set up her litter boxes – one in the basement, the other in the upstairs bathroom.  But, she was mostly ‘lost’ to me for her first hour in the house.  Then while I was talking to my daughter on the telephone and getting something out of the refrigerator, there she was, sitting on my toes, looking into the fridge. She was so close I thought she was aiming to go in  it.  I said, “no, no” and Josie, showing she was an obedient pet, backed away.  She didn’t run away.  She stayed in the kitchen with me.  She was always more close-by than distant.  From the beginning and always, Josie evidenced her gratitude for being out of that cage and in our home.

Josie was put on the veterinarian’s recommended diet.  I went online and found just the right baby scale to regularly track her weight loss.  She did well.  I discovered her previous owners must have fed her salty snacks because anytime I had a corn curl or Dorito or even popcorn, Josie begged, big time.  She didn’t get any. 

Unfortunately the next spring Josie was sick, a kind of feline cancer, the Vet said.  She died May 24^th, 2010 in this house she loved.

I don't believe I'll ever forget Josie.

Team Building Queries

Fourteen years ago the following questions were part of a corporate exercise involving my peers and me.  The objective was to gain a better understanding of one another, thus improve our interactions, and thus our management productivity. 

From the beginning, I found the questions amazing to consider.  For sure, I appreciated the opportunity to be more thoroughly understood by those working with me each day.  In fact, seeking to be totally honest, it was not easy settling on the answers to several of the questions.

Would my responses to those be the same today?  I’m not sure.
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Question #1:  If you could have dinner with any three people, living or from history, whom would they be and why?

        My Answer:  

(A.)       Princess Diana – It seems to me she was a fun romantic sensitive caring young woman who cherished the family unit and it “fell apart”.  In that sense her life mirrored my own.  I would love to commiserate with her about the consequences of the choices we make in life.

(B.)       Alex Haley – I would I tell him how beneficial his book ROOTS was to my personal sense of self and I might learn, first hand, the challenges he overcame in his research to produce the book. (My award-winning memoir, Black Star Girl, was published in March 2010.)

(C.)        John F. Kennedy, Jr. - This young man with a notably interesting history, appears to be a constructively focused gentleman.  I would love a discussion so as to learn more about his plans for the future and to share insights we may find helpful.  (JFK,Jr. would die less than one year following this thoughtful decision of mine.)

Question #2:  You were named after?  

       My Answer:  Joe Louis’ first wife, Marva Spaulding Louis. (Joe Louis was a World Champion boxer.)

Question #3:  The cartoon character that is most like you and why?

       My Answer:  DICK TRACY – We are strong, reliable, inquisitive, passionate and seek closure to problems.

Question #4:  What book are you currently reading?

        My Answer:  BLACK BEAUTY   (To my granddaughter).

Question #5:  The most unusual job you’ve held?

        My Answer:  As a Junior High School student, reading homework to a blind student.

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How would you answer the questions?

Happy Thanksgiving Time

She’s happy the cease-fire in the Gaza Strip is still holding.  (“Dear God, may the peace between Israel and Palestine continue, continue, continue.”)

Having the hustle and bustle of Thanksgiving in her home thrilled her, though not so much while it was happening. She worried because she wanted everyone to be as happy as she was.  Were they?  Did she seem too serious?  Did her demeanor belie her joy? 

She was fearful she didn’t appear loose and relaxed at the dinner table. 

Actually, she wasn’t – internally.  Why?  Because she craved hearing everything about each of her grandchildren.  And, she didn’t want to ‘mess-up’ by bugging them with questions. 

There were many questions floating between her head and her heart - conjured up - that could spill out of her mouth and put a damper on the flow of conversation. 

Then she got it.  She wouldn’t interview – just listen and follow up with a comment or two. 

It worked.  It was a delightful, informative, sharing of college experiences from three generations, their Mom, them, and the grandmother.  “You were locked in the dorm at night?!?!”  

They’ve gone, returned to the independence of their college life away from home.  The grandmother is very proud of her granddaughter and her grandson.  Still she wants to worry about them, their challenges, and their choices.

However, this morning she smiled; loving the happy memory of Thanksgiving Day with her family. 

43,000,000 Gallons of Water

That’s how much salty ocean water they say Superstorm Sandy caused to flood the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel in lower Manhattan on Monday night, October 29^th.  Those millions of gallons have been pumped out and damage caused by the salt-water repaired in one of the two tubes. This past Tuesday afternoon, fifteen days later, that tube of the Tunnel was opened to car traffic going into Brooklyn.  Sandy-caused inordinate traffic congestion is somewhat relieved.

I anticipated flooding in my home should the monstrous storm stay on its predicted path. I have a sump pump that pulsates into action during heavy rains or even with soft rains continuing for several days.   No electricity; no sump pump.  I agonized over the strong possibility of losing electricity.  I did – for four days.  But, I had no flooding.  I’ve learned because Superstorm Sandy was primarily wind and wind driven water surge (minimal rainfall) and there had been no rainfall for many days prior, the water table was low enough to save me from flooding.

Going forward, my ‘new normal’ will have to include a backup plan that is more than flashlights, a battery powered radio, prudently used candles and sheer fortitude.

Now, just as a fixture in ones home is a heating system and hot water tank, I hope to have my utility company install a permanent gas-powered generator.

Tears fill my eyes when I hear and read the personal words of those who suffered loss, loss that may never be recovered.  Their ‘new normal’ will be adjusting to drastic change possibly involving loved ones, housing, and career.

Aerial view of a Jersey Shore neighborhood in the wake of Sandy

In New Jersey in addition to the thousands of homes and businesses damaged and destroyed there were 33 deaths due to Superstorm Sandy’s destructive intrusion into our lives.  These deaths have been attributed to drownings, injury from fallen trees, carbon monoxide poisoning, and hypothermia.

I've read more than 7200 property owners in Connecticut have applied for assistance due to Sandy.

The good news is there are many stories of giving and sharing by folks able to do so, some also victims of the devastation.

I ask you to do what you can from where you are to help people who now have seriously disrupted lives.  My assistance has included giving to the Red Cross, and to a fund through the organized unit of United Methodist Women and additionally through my church.

                                            

That’s the way it is here in our tri-state area of New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut.  Sandy’s horrific flooding, smashing and uprooting of lives will need my assistance and yours for many months to come.

Have you helped?  Will you find a way to do so?  Thanks.

Dear Veteran,

You had my back.  You served our cherished United States of America; you served the world.

I am profoundly grateful.

I recognize your sacrifice. 

I mourn your sacrifice. 

I value the inspiring example you and those veterans who have died are to the generations of us who have come behind you, to live, work, play, love and dream in a democracy.

I pray the leaders of this country will continue to focus attention toward providing the resources necessary to improve your quality of life, where sorely needed.    I am optimistic.

I thank you for your service.

Sincerely,

Marva L. Stith

Recognizing those in my immediate family who are veterans, I include this excerpt taken from the Endnotes in Black Star Girl, my award-winning memoir.

Page 226:  “Three of my brothers would serve in the military; Jim in the U.S. Air Force, Larry in the U.S. Navy and Roy in the U. S. Army.  A brother-in-law (Pete Nelson) cherished his service in the U. S. Marines.“