Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Sybil Said


"If he were tall, 
more so than not,
articulate, 
well groomed,
good teeth, 
warm smile,
honest
and passionate
over something 
other than him and me,
He could be my love.

Now and then,
we would,
happily 
study movies
on TV, 
or contentedly read 
our books.
Confident 
in his comfortable interest 
in me,
I wouldn’t talk too much.
Neither 
would he.
He could be my love.

I would be inspired to do chores 
more than I do now.
Our world a cluttered mess?
Never.
He would appreciate me.
I would sing 
softly
loving all I must do
and how he 
makes me feel.

With high standards.
and good skills
he would care for me.
Not at all my servant,
nor me his,
we would serve, 
nourish
one another.
I would be his love." 
                   -M.L.Stith
                                 

Monday, July 29, 2013

Don't Use 'That Word'


An Internet headline today invites us to read comedian Tim Allen’s take on the Paula Deen problem, popularly attributed to her use of the ‘n word’.

If you do an Internet search of ‘Tim Allen’ you can read his interview.  It’s lengthy.  It’s not necessarily horrible but it is obnoxious to me, a black woman who knows full well where ‘that word’ comes from. 

Historically, 'that word' was a derogatory label commonly thrown at slaves and their descendants. It lived on.  If there had not been slavery in America (the concentrated subjugation of a race of human beings; buying, selling and holding black people (Negroes) as property to build white people's worlds, to build this nation) would the word be part of our nation’s lexicon?  I think not. To me, it is quite simply an insulting, derogatory, nasty derivation of the word Negro.

It troubles me how people new to this country might choose to digest this Paula Deen inspired discussion.  The story is demeaning on several levels and I don’t think they ‘get’ it.  I'm thinking, Tim Allen, who has lived in America all his life, doesn’t grasp the real significance of 'that word'.  So how could I expect immigrants to know and understand this foolish discussion? Stop the negativity.  It's depressing.

No other word has evolved into our American language bringing the sordid baggage this word has.  No word of any other culture or community compares with ‘that word’. Hearing the despicable six-letter derivation of Negro, I think of all the blacks beaten, shackled, and hung to die just because the economic structure then culture of the time fostered the tragic injustices people practiced against another people.

Use of the word should not be tolerated.  Who ever includes it in their vocabulary, speaking with another, or about anyone is ignorant, no matter their color, heritage, age, purpose. No matter the dictionary definition, they cannot entertain nor inform me using ‘that word’.  I don’t have to think about it.  That I know, for sure.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Music Re-makes My World


“A blessed life flattens – it seems,
And corner after corner,
Snares each dream I dream.
Recalling the magic of music, I put the CD’s on
And life again is – serene.  I’m strong.”
                                                            -M.L.Stith

 Marva’s 25 Top Played Songs – These Past 21 Months

               Name                                                       Artist
1. The Song of Moses                                   Paul Wilbur
2. Greatest Love of All                                 Whitney Houston
3. Nobody Loves Me Like You Do                Whitney Houston &                                                      
                                                                         Jermaine Jackson
4. At Last                                                      Etta James
5. If You Say My Eyes Are Beautiful             Jermaine Jackson &
                                                                        Whitney Houston
6. The Star Spangled Banner                       Whitney Houston
7. Imagine                                                    John Lennon
8. Pretty Paper                                             Willie Nelson
9. I Heard It Through The Grapevine           Candace Glover
10. Lovesong                                                Candace Glover
11. I Look To You                                        Whitney Houston
12. Tomorrow                                              The Winans
13. Don’t Make Me Over                              Candace Glover
14. She’s Out of My Life                               Michael Jackson
15. Silent Night                                            Take 6
16. I’ll Be Waiting                                        Michael Franti &
                                                                         Spearhead
17. When You Believe                                   Candace Glover
18. The Talking Leaves                                 Johnny Cash
19. Don’t Keep Heaven Busy*                      Johnnyswim
20. Oh Happy Day                                       Ramsey Lewis
21. Emotion                                                 Candace Glover
22. Alabaster Box                                         CeCe Winans
23. Stand                                                      Donnie McClurkin
24. Apache Tears                                          Johnny Cash
25. Tolerance                                                Michael Franti &
                                                                          Spearhead

*My current favorite, by “Johnnyswim”, a duo of Amanda Sudano and Abner Ramirez.
They are married.  She is the daughter of Donna Summer.

I’m thinking these songs are available on YouTube, as are millions more.  Very soon you could be enjoying melodies and words that soothe, inform, and inspire.

Music makes a magnificent difference in many of my days.  What about you?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

"Obama Shares His Feelings"


Such is the front-page headline on the paper thrown on my lawn this morning.

Carrying it into the house, my mind said, “And I know there is much more our President is not sharing regarding his ‘feelings’ about the George Zimmerman trial.  He can’t.  He is the elected leader of everyone and we have a complex problem in America that must be solved with rational attention.”

Well, that’s how I felt about that headline. 

But Trayvon Martin continues to be on trial as he has been from the moment his killer met up with him that dark night in Sanford, Florida.  I’m angry at the evidence of that.

What to do?   I’m working hard to keep the pain I feel buried in hopeful, common sense words and action.  It’s difficult, because I’ve lived so long and experienced so much.  Read my award winning memoir, Black Star Girl.

Not included in my book is an experience with my son.  I remember a sunny Saturday morning ride with Darin.  He was driving his almost brand new lacquer- black Honda Prelude, a 1987 model.  Darin was 25 years old, going on 26 – finally the proud owner of the car he had worked and saved diligently to buy.   It wasn’t his first car.   First, a used Lincoln (a huge vehicle) bought through a newspaper ad, then a used Escort were his before getting the long dreamed of Prelude.  Both Farah and Darin had jobs from the time they were of age to go to work for others.  Neither my daughter nor my son was frivolous with their hard earned pay.

Well on this summer Saturday before noon Darin picked me up to take me to a hot dog  ‘joint’.  He wanted to show me what a fine business it was, the kind he hoped to own one day.  We were laughing and talking with each other when I saw his face go somber after a casual glance into his side view mirror.  Abruptly left turning into a drive, he mumbled, “Wonder what’s up?” By that time the police car was beside him.   I’m remembering the officer did not get out of his car.  That was strange.  He looked across at Darin and said, “What was that all about?” Darin in an even but puzzled tone questioned, “What?”

I'm silent, thinking, was this officer trying to make trouble for the young black ‘boy’ looking too happy on a carefree Saturday morning?  To me that was quite apparent.  The policeman firmly replied, “You know what you did.” 

I wanted to immediately weigh in, be ‘the adult’ in the car.  We had done nothing suspect or illegal.  But knowing my son was his own man and I should do all I could not to interfere, I glanced at the officer but held myself aloof until the officer added, “you know you saw me”.  While Darin calmly claimed, “I didn’t see you ‘til just now”, I slowly leaned forward and looked the man directly in the eye in my most authoritative manner.  It worked.  He warned, “well be careful.” Gruffly adding, “watch what you’re doing.”  He sped away.

I don’t remember visiting the hot dog place or anything we did after that encounter – except talk.  We tried to figure out what the police stop was all about. Perhaps he thought the car was stolen and was having the plates run. We were heading from one town into another and maybe he wanted ‘the collar’.   But he didn’t get out of his car!  We did agree he must have thought we were two ‘kids’.  I personally liked that. 

Whatever the reason for the Police Officer to stop Darin, we were fortunate.  I had the opportunity of seeing the young man’s response in a trying situation.  I was proud of him. Even though we were unnecessarily harassed, only our happy time was ruined.

I truly believe I wouldn’t have the story to tell if my son and I were white, not black in America.  That is sad.  It is an unfair reality that continues. 

My heartfelt sympathy and prayers for their strength go out to Trayvon Martin’s parents, his entire family and friends.  “God bless you.”