Pampering - For Ladies Only

I remember watching “Everybody Loves Raymond” one particular night.  It was a bedtime scene.   His wife, sitting on the side of the bed, talking to her husband methodically rubbed lotion into her arms, neck, shoulders. She was just out of the shower, dressed for bed, talking with him, dissecting one of his silly rationales that would leave her home alone with their three children while he was out having fun.  Still, she was massaging that lotion slowly and purposefully into her skin.

The scene impressed me with the importance of a woman taking time to pamper herself.  She must be careful not to let the needs of others be an excuse for neglecting herself.

Now I’m thinking about the story a woman told about a situation with this guy she had dated for some time.

She said they had a really neat romance going.  She spent a lot of time with him.  He would take her out, take her to nice places, but there were events he attended and didn’t ask her to be his date. He was single, unattached and quite social and popular.  She wanted to move their relationship to another level.  

She would make herself more enticing to him.  She saw the opportunity the next time they made plans to go out on a Saturday night. Her kids were away in college.  The house was all hers.  She told herself, “You’ve got all day to make yourself special for this date tonight.”   She fixed a bubble bath and soaked in the tub, filled closed to overflowing, for hours, for HOURS, she said - luxuriating in the fragrant and soothing water, reading, relaxing imagining how wonderful her skin would be to his touch.  She creamed and lotioned, gave herself a pedicure, manicure, taking care of all the toiletries that make a woman beautiful. 

That night they went to dinner, a fine restaurant and came back to his place.  She spent the night.  It was really neat she gushed.  She felt good about herself, felt loved and loving, went to sleep, slept really well.  But, when she woke up he wasn’t there.  “Oh no”, she sighed, “He’s gone”. 

I was sad just hearing the story.  She said he had a big home which was as quiet as an empty house is.  He wasn’t there. She guessed the insensitive man had gone to work (he had his own business and was a workaholic).  It obviously meant nothing to him to leave her without a single parting word. She claimed she wasn’t angry, just realized a more secure relationship with him shouldn’t be in the cards.  She proceeded to dress; was almost ready to leave when she heard footsteps.  And, there he was … standing in the doorway with carryout breakfast, the newspapers, and coffee.   She said she remembers thinking, “Oh my gosh, it did work.”  Her soaking and pampering worked because he had never before done anything so romantic and thoughtful.

They have been married twelve years.

Yes, ladies, I’m thinking spending time being good to you, pampering yourself, it’s a good thing.