Loving Grandmother - Or Not?

She called herself a loving grandmother.  But was she?  Perhaps not.  She recalls those past years adoring them up close and distant.   Now the time has come when grandchildren she used to share real time with no longer come around; no longer check in about school events; no longer are part of her life.  Is that evidence her perception of self may have been wrong? 

I didn’t know enough to give her an answer.

The grandmother proceeded to say she moves about her home surrounded by evidence they once loved her – gifts and photos she had laughed and beamed over in their adoring presence.  She did recall the tone of one granddaughter who implied a prominently placed framed photo mortified her teenaged sensibilities. 

“Take it down,“ she had winced with a trace of a smile. 

The picture of the almost still-a-little-baby-girl standing posed in tutu and tights holding a pink ruffled umbrella stared back at her.  Today her grandmother admits she easily brushed her granddaughter’s words away with a “you’re so cute. I loved that day.”  Maybe she should have listened.  It’s down now.

Many times the little family surrounded her dining table enjoying the fun and informative conversations of active people from three generations.   Surely even more times, the grandmother murmured, she shared a delicious menu with them in their warm and happy home.  Then there were those well planned or totally spontaneous meals taken in fine and not so fine restaurants.  Yes, they used to have great times.  Not any more.  

The grandmother says she never dreamed the day would come when they wouldn’t be part of her life.   But her son – their father died.   She misses him.  She misses them and finds herself constantly wondering why she has to.

“I must not have been that loving Grandmother."

My Loving Grandfather and My Grandmother I Never Knew

    My sincere advice – she must realize  each person manages ‘change’ in different ways.   The despondent grandmother must be patient.

     What do you think?  How would you    counsel the grandmother?