Money

If you don’t have a pile of money, you must not think excessively about it.  Even if you don’t have enough money to do what you want to do.  You’ll risk being driven to despair, a despair that may not mean destruction.  I’m talking about inertia.  Yes, it may lead you to function in a sort of semi-hopeless state, i.e., limiting what you could do.  That’s not good. 

It’s extremely important to keep living forward in a positive mode.  So it is necessary to keep moving, even if by tiny steps.   Do what you can and “d_ _ _ the torpedoes ahead".    (Yes, some other notable said something like that.  Hopefully I will not get sued.)

If I had summarily acknowledged I didn’t have the money to publish I wouldn’t have my memoir, Black Star Girl, the book I wrote in tribute to the unwavering perseverance of my parents and me.  How thrilled and grateful I am to see the spine of that treasure sitting on my library shelf; to know it is in many public libraries. 

My daughter would not have had a sterling four-year experience at Cornell University if I had respected the words of a compassionate counselor who told this divorced mother of two teenagers that Cornell was too expensive for her and me.  We should rethink.  “The community college has a wonderful curriculum.”  (It does, but my child’s goal was to go to Cornell.)  Most of my best memories are because I kept going. 

Oh yes, if I had respected my financial resources vs. obligations, we certainly wouldn’t have had – for almost twelve years – the fabulous experience of my adorable bulldog, Pugslee.  When the pet store owner said the price of the 10 week old puppy was $2,500, I should have turned my back and walked away.  But I always wanted a bulldog.  (Read my February 24, 2012 post,  “Pugslee Woods Blue”.)

Well, today’s question is, “will I ever have that kitchen I’ve dreamed of for years?”   Money, money, money.

I don’t know.  I’m not as brave as I used to be.

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Note: my last post, “Matt Lauer”, inspired this writing.

Thank God people don’t need a $25,000,000 salary (or even a million dollars) to be happy.  I’m kind of weird though.  I shy away from buying lottery tickets because I fear unhappiness would flood my life if I won.